Poetic Sisters
by Exotos135
Summary: An AU where Maggie and Haiku, one of Luan's former clients and a friend of Lucy, are sisters. Cover art made by me.
1. Before the Sadie Hawkins Dance

**Insert "Stop spitting out stupid au stories" comment here.**

 **And before you ask, yes, this is a slight au where Haiku and Maggie, actual names Helen (Junior) and Magdalene, are sisters. For the most part, this just explores potential scenarios between these two, and certain other characters every once in a while.**

 **Right now, though, we'll only see the part before the Sadie Hawkins dance. Not during it, since nothing really changes in any major way, and what happens afterwards will be left for the next chapter.**

 **Also, if you're interested, you can suggest scenarios you'd like to see, since unlike a certain other (pretty good) fanfic, this one doesn't really have a big overaching story that would clash with one-shots, it's just a collection of one-shots centering around these sisters.**

 **Anyway, I've blabbered on for long enough, so let's move on.**

* * *

It was a normal evening at the city of Royal Woods. The Loud house was as loud as ever-after all, it had a reputation to maintain-and right in that house was Lucy Loud, the gothic downbeat 8-Year-Old of the household, talking to somebody on her phone.

"So, I wasn't planning on calling you today, but since my brother has nobody to take to the Sadie Hawkins dance, and... Well..." Lucy started, taking a deep breath before asking the question, "I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but could you please go on a date with my brother?"

Right on the other end was Lucy's poetry friend, Haiku, who laid on her bed and moved her legs up and down as she thought about the offer.

"I don't see why not," she eventually answered. "But first, I would like to learn some more about your-"

Suddenly, Haiku's bedroom door was knocked thrice, before a familiar voice called from outside, "Helen, is everything okay?"

Haiku could tell instantly that the voice belonged to her older sister, Maggie, which aggravated her to no end. "Mom called, she wants to know what you want for dinner: Food from Burpin' Burger, or from some other restaurant?"

Flinching at being called by her real name, Haiku promptly snapped, "Maggie, I'm kinda busy right now!"

Not that it made her sister falter or anything. "Mom's also busy at work, and she wants to buy something for all of us to eat during her drive back home. So Burpin' Burger or something else?"

"Anything's fine!" Haiku answered, before turning back to her phone. "Sorry, Lucy, my older sister interrupted me without warning."

"I know how that feels."

And so, with her question finally answered, Maggie walked back to her room then called her mom again. "Helen says she's okay with whatever you bring for dinner."

"Okay, what about you, Magdalene?" Maggie and Helen's mom asked from the other end.

"I'm okay with whatever you buy as well."

"Alright, guess I'm gonna buy at Burpin' Burgers then, since that's the closest restaurant available. Keep an eye on your sister, alright?"

"Got it."

Maggie hung up, and soon afterwards, Haiku opened the door to her room and said, "Maggie, I need you to take me somewhere-"

"I'm not taking you to the graveyard, Helen," the emo teen sternly stated, folding her arms. "You know that you freak out over anything related to zombies!"

"Actually, I just need you to take me to the school for the Sadie Hawkins dance," Haiku confessed, rubbing her arm.

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "I thought you hated social events like that?"

"I do. With a burning passion." Haiku took a deep breath. "But Lucy says that her brother needs a date for that dance, and she asked me to be his date."

"Doesn't he have over 10 sisters or something? Why can't he just bring one of them as a chaperone?" the emo argued, earning an "are you serious?" look from the poet. "Or he could do what I did back when I was your age and bring his mother instead."

"Maggie, neither of those options would solve anything!" Haiku put her hands on her hips. "Look, the dance will start anytime soon, so could you please just tell me if you'll take me there or not?"

The emo hummed, and soon got an idea. "Alright, I'll take you there, but in return I'll watch you from the shadows to make sure nothing bad happens, got it?"

Haiku flinched, but knowing she had no time to argue anything, she just nodded and said "fine," sealing the deal. With that done, Maggie sent a message to her mother letting her know where the sisters were going, then took Haiku to the dance in the coolest way she could think of:

On a two-person bike!

Okay, so it wasn't that cool, but it's the thought that counts!

Once the pair were at the school, they immediately went in, and the sheer number of people inside the gym sent shivers up Haiku's spine.

"G-Geez, l-l-look at all these people!" Haiku said, clutching her chest and shivering as she took a look around. "I knew Lucy said mentioned the place would be full, but not to this extent!"

"Calm down, Helen, freaking out won't do anything good," Maggie crouched down and put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Listen, you just gotta sit down and wait for Lincoln to arrive. Did... Lucy... tell you how he looked like?"

Haiku nodded. "Y-Yeah, orange shirt, blue pants, white hair-"

"Stop right there."

Maggie took a quick look around the stage, then went back to her nervous sister.

"Okay, I can't find any kids with white hair, so he should be easy to spot," then, she reached for her back and took out a book as she guided her sister to the nearest bench seats. "Now, don't pay attention to the crowd, just read this book and wait for him to come to you."

The poet sat down, then took a deep breath before putting up a stoic nature.

"Good, keep that look up, and don't worry about the people," the emo instructed as she slowly walked towards the shadows. "Remember, I'll be watching you and everybody from the shadows, so if something happens, I'll let you know."

Then, Maggie stopped, went back to Haiku, and handed her a silver whistle. "Also, keep this in hand."

"Why?" the poet asked.

Maggie shrugged. "Just to be sure."

"Alright then, thanks, sis," Haiku said as she waved goodbye.

Maggie returned the wave and entered the shadows in the dance as Haiku saved the whistle on her pockets, opened the book and started reading it. And so, the dance begun...


	2. After the Sadie Hawkins Dance

**Okay, here's the aftermath of the Sadie Hawkins dance deal. It should mostly deal with Haiku and Maggie's feelings about the matter. Now, before we begin, let me respond to some reviews, an oddity, I know, but still, it's something I gotta do.  
**

 **Krusa1:**

 **1) It's the same story as in "Poetic Past," so it would be redundant.**

 **2) Like in Poetic past, Maggie and Haiku didn't become goth or emo on the same day. It was gradual.**

 **3) That I can do!**

 **Also, good news! From now on, I'm starting with the requested one-shots! So go on, shoot out as many ideas as you want!**

 **Alright, now, let's move on.**

* * *

Haiku, having just finished her dance with Clyde, walked to the shadows where Maggie was supposed to be hiding, only to see Maggie walk out of it, her hair partially covered in punch, and with bruises all over her body.

"Whoa, what happened with you, Maggie?" the poet inquired as the emo teen dusted herself.

"Apparently, moving around in complete darkness involves bumping into a ton of stuff you can't even see in the first place," the teen girl sternly answered, before adding as she squeezed the juice out of her hair, "That, and some of the drink fell on my hair after that redheaded boy's ball-run stunt or whatever that was."

"Yeah... Well, the dance is pretty much over," Haiku grabbed Maggie's hand. "How about we go back home now?"

"I'm glad we agree on something."

And so the sisters left the building and drove back to their house on Maggie's two-person bike. Along the way, though, Maggie couldn't help but ask:

"So, you seemed rather happy while dancing with that dark-skinned boy. Care to tell me what's that all about?"

Haiku, obviously, blushed at the inquiry and looked away as she answered:

"T-That's something I'd rather discuss once we get back home."

Respecting her sister's wishes, Maggie remained silent for the rest of the trip, and once the duo had returned, so took the chance to clean out the remaining juice and bruises and then waited for their mother to return.

 _7:00 pm_

Haiku and Maggie-the former sitting on the latter's lap-watched Television with stoic looks during their quest to endure the wait for their mother's arrival.

Truly, this was a task that any mere mortal would find impossible.

Luckily, though, the woman arrived soon afterwards. "Hi girls, I'm back home!" she greeted as she went inside, with Haiku immediately running up to her and hugging her. "Hi, Junior, how was the dance?"

"Mom, don't call me Junior!" Helen said, before returning to her hugging. "It was good, though there was a deal where I thought Lincoln, the guy I was set to date, was triple-timing me with three other girls."

"Huh, really?" the woman remarked rather nonchalantly as she took the food and put it on the table. "Well, sweetie, perhaps there was some sort of misunderstanding going on?"

"Of course there was, that's always the case in this kind of situations," Maggie sternly stated as she walked to the table. "But, I bet if the girl with the violet stripe hadn't spoken first, you would've simply accused him without even hearing his reasoning, wouldn't you?"

"Uh-"

"Magdalene, leave your sister alone," the mother instructed. "She's still young, so she's bound to make mistakes like that."

"Mom, when I was her age, you scolded me whenever I judged people wrongly, and always told me to not see things in black and white," the emo retorted, narrowing her eyes. "So why, exactly, do you not do the same with Helen?"

"I just don't want to bring up anything that could end up causing a big fight," the woman sighed. "Look, the dance is over, I brought the food, so let's eat dinner so we can go to sleep in peace, alright?"

Haiku and Maggie exchanged looks before answering "fine" in unison. So the three girls each got their food: Maggie and the mother got the adult burger, coke and some fries, while Haiku got a kid burger, fries, juice, and an ice cream.

She also got a toy... In the form of Ace Savvy. "Ugh, I already got over a dozen of these!" the poet whined, catching her mother's attention. "Didn't you ask if they had One-Eyed Jack? He's the only toy left I need to complete my collection!"

"Ace Savvy was the only toy they didn't have available," the woman answered, quickly going back to her food afterwards. "Just enjoy your food, sweetie, you'll get better luck next time."

"Have you tried finding somebody who's willing to trade their Ace Savvy for something else?" Maggie suggested. "After all, if it works for certain card games, then it should work for action figures, right?"

"Maggie, I don't know any goth or poet that's a fan of Ace Savvy! And worst of all, the Ace Savvy Burpin' Burger toy campaign ends next week!" the poetic fanatic whined. "I'm gonna be Ace Savvy-less for the rest of my life!"

Haiku planted her face on the table in frustration... With her mother and Maggie not reacting until the woman asked, "So, did anything interesting happen during the dance?"

"Oh right, the dance! I totally forgot about it!" Haiku got up then dusted her face. "Well, after discovering Lincoln was with other girls, we all decided to go off with other boys: I went with a dark-skinned guy named Clyde, who shared my pain of unrequited, eternal vampire love."

"Is he in love with a vampire?"

"No, he's in love with some blonde woman named Lori. But, we shared the same kind of pain, and... Well, I kinda liked being with him for a while."

Maggie went "oooh" while the woman smiled, seemingly in approval. And then Haiku took out the whistle and said, "Oh, and Maggie gave me this weird whistle for some reason.

Upon seeing the object, Maggie and the mother flinched and their eyes grew wide in shock. In the mother's case, though, she quickly calmed down and said, "Helen, go eat your food upstairs, I have to talk about something with your sister."

Haiku just shrugged and went upstairs with her stuff, leaving Maggie behind to be met with both a glare from their mother, and a blunt question:

"You gave your sister "that" kind of whistle on a public dance event?!"

"I-I did it just to be safe," the emo stuttered. "You know how she's still young and pretty, and the idea that somebody would take advantage

"She's too young to find out about that type of whistle, Magdalene!" the woman snapped. "Please tell me she has no idea about it's name!"

"No, she doesn't! All she knows is that it's a whistle! That's it!"

The mother sighed in relief. "I'll ask that you refrain from giving her something like that again. She needs to stay ignorant of "that" side of the world until she's ready. Otherwise-"

"She'll end up like me, I know," Maggie bitterly finished.

Hearing her say that made the woman put on a sympathetic look and comfort her oldest daughter. "I know you only have the best of intentions, but please, don't give her something like that again, okay?"

The emo remained silent, but eventually flashed a smile and said, "I'll try as hard as I can."

However, as the duo hugged, Maggie could only think:

" _But I can't stand the thought of losing someone so important to me._ "


	3. Play Date

The next day after the dance, Haiku and Maggie were exchanging a couple words, with the former looking quite surprised.

"You want to set up a play date between me and Lincoln?" Haiku asked, earning a nod from her older sister. "Why would you do that?"

"Well, I've been thinking about how the Sadie Hawkins dance wasn't the best thing ever, according to what you said, specially the deal with the accidental four-timing," Maggie answered, and Haiku glaring and looking away made it clear she wasn't happy with being reminded of that stuff. "So, I went to the Loud house itself, searched for the guy while dodging his dozens of sisters, then asked him if he would be willing to do a play date here in our house."

"Why here?" Haiku raised an eyebrow. "Why not his house?"

"Really? You seriously think a play date is even possible over there?" Maggie shook her head. "With several sisters keeping an eye on you both, it'll be a nightmare to do anything without being pestered by them! So, it'll be done here, for something calmer and less intense."

Haiku hummed, then folded her arms, "Well, what did he say about the idea?"

"He's willing to do it," Maggie smiled. "All he needs is to hear if you're willing to do it, and then I can set everything up, hopefully without his sisters meddling into our business."

The emo crouched down, "And don't worry, I myself won't meddle with your date."

The girl thought about it, and getting a smile, she said, "Sounds like it'll be fun. Sure, let's do it."

"Great, I'll go right back to the house to tell him about it."

And so, Maggie bid farewell and went right away back to the Loud house, where she was greeted by Luan... With a red rose on her mouth, and with a flirty look. "Hi, Maggie," she said with a lustful tone. "Nice to see you again."

"I'm not interested in dating, Luan," Maggie bluntly stated.

"Oh come on!" the comedian snapped right back to her normal attitude. "I got the rose, I got the flirty look, I got the tone, what did I do wrong?!"

"You did exactly nothing wrong-yet-I'm just not interested in dating you." Maggie went inside and looked around. "Is your brother in here? Haiku accepted to do the play date thing."

"Oh right, we did agree to try and get the two to know each other better through a play date!" Luan sighed and smiled. "I bet our little siblings are going to look so cute together!"

"If they can even stand each other in the first place," Maggie pointed out. "Again, is your brother here or not?"

"He's in his bedroom, but you may need to knock first," Luan answered. "He's reading comics, and he has a bad habit of reading them in his underwear sporadically. He used to do so all the time, but now it's random whether he'll read them with clothes or not."

"Luan, your brother is eleven," Maggie scoffed, putting her hands on her hips. "If he really is in his underwear, I doubt I'll see anything too crazy. Worst case scenario is a body type similar to my sister's, but with a more normal skin tone."

And so, Maggie ventured forth to the boy's bedroom, opened the door, and was met with a terrifying sight: Lincoln, in his underwear!

At least, it was terrifying for the boy, since he hid under his bed afterwards. "Luan! Your friend is here!" he shouted, only to come out of his bed afterwards. "Why are you here, by the way?"

"I'm here for the play date," Maggie bluntly stated before cracking her knuckles. "Haiku said yes, so I'm going to make yourself look presentable whether you like it or not!"

The boy swallowed his fears in anticipation.

 _A little bit later, back at Maggie and Haiku's house..._

Maggie opened the door and went inside with Lincoln... Looking like his usual self, while Haiku was watching Ace Savvy on the TV. Once she spotted the duo, she quickly shut off the television and reunited with them.

"Hi Lincoln, I'm-I'm happy you agreed to do the play date," Haiku nervously stated. "C-Come to my room and we can begin there."

"Got it."

And so, the duo went to the girl's bedroom while Maggie remained behind, hoping that things would go well between the two. Once in the room-with Haiku's figurine collection covered for good measure-the pair sat down... And basically fell silent, with the atmosphere growing tense as the duo tried to think of something to talk about.

"So, uh," Lincoln blurted, catching Haiku's attention. "I'm... I'm very sorry for what happened at the dance-"

"No, don't be... Well, do be sorry, but not that much," Haiku replied, scratching the back of her head. "After all, it's your sisters who decided to set up the dates without asking each other in the first place, you just wanted to have a fun time at the arcade. And besides, the girls and I had fun anyway with the boys you set us up with, so it was a win-win, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Cue another awkward silence.

"I... Guess I should try to change the subject now," Lincoln took out his Ace Savvy figurine. "If you're interested, we could-"

"No, freaking, way!" Haiku leaned closer to the figurine. "You have an Ace Savvy figurine?!"

"Oh yeah, I have several dozens of these, all in an attempt to get the full set," the boy frowned. "I have Ace and most of the group, but I never could manage to get One-Eyed Jack."

"Man, I have the exact opposite problem," Haiku took out her One-Eyed Jack figurine, then promptly revealed her figurine collection. "I got several dozen figurines of One-Eyed Jack, but none of Ace Savvy!"

The kids looked at their figurines, then at the other's figurines, and smiled as they got an idea.

This was followed by Maggie walking past Haiku's bedroom, where Lincoln promptly came out. Slightly worried for whatever this meant, she went to the boy and asked, "Hey, what happened? Did you do the play date or not?"

The boy shook his head. "No, but something much better happened," Lincoln took out a One-Eyed Jack figurine. "We managed to complete our collections!"

And with that said, Lincoln left the house while Maggie took a peak through the keyhole to see Haiku rejoicing with her fully complete Ace Savvy figurine collection. With that done, the emo teenager smiled, then left to allow the girl to enjoy her collection.


	4. When Maggie Met Luan

It was another day at Maggie and Haiku's house, where Maggie was just... Sitting alone, on the living room, reading a book. Not that the book was anything that interested her, but really, what else could she do?

"Maggie?"

The emo teenager turned around and saw Haiku standing nearby.

"Oh hi, Helen," Maggie nonchalantly remarked before returning to her book. "Do you want me to take you to the poetry club or something? Perhaps it has something to do with Lucy?"

"Actually, I was going to ask you to do that, like usual, but something came up," Haiku explained as she sat next to her sister. "You see, Lucy's in the middle of a rest right now. Apparently, her sisters tried to get her to look good to a boy she had a crush on, but once she found out he liked her just as herself, she decided to give herself a little break. After snapping very harshly at her sisters and taking a bath, of course."

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "And why are you telling me this?"

"Because she's on a rest, Lucy canceled all the plans we had for today," Haiku moved closer to her older sister. "So, I'm fully free, and we can have some sister-sister time together! If you'd like, that is."

The emo became so shocked about this revelation, she dropped her book, but quickly managed to compose herself and try to act like she was stoic about the matter.

"...Maggie, I know we don't tend to hang out very often, but there's something I need to ask you," Haiku took a deep breath. "How did you and Luan meet?"

The emo teenager flinched, but quickly recomposed herself and answered, "It happened a long time ago..."

 _A long time ago..._

A much younger Maggie was looking around the park, with her mother carrying a baby Haiku. The emo girl ran all over the place, giggling to herself as she followed a random butterfly that caught her attention.

However, just as she was about to crash into a tree, she heard some laughter nearby. Laughter that came from a nearby... Party of some sort.

The girl promptly returned to her mother and said, "Mom, can we go look at that party over there?"

The woman promptly got up, and the trio went to the party, where Maggie met Luan for the first time: As a young little clown assistant to the party's actual clown. And it isn't long before she notices the cheerful girl.

She waves hello, and Maggie eagerly waves back before Luan is forced to get back to work. "Mom! Did you see that?!" Maggie exclaimed. "The clown's clone just waved at me!"

"That's not her clone, darling, that's her assistant," Maggie's mom clarified. "Her job is to help the clown correctly perform her jokes and tricks."

Maggie tilted her head, clearly in confusion.

"Just watch, darling," the woman said with a laugh. "Their actions will speak more than my words."

And so, the young Maggie decided to watch the show, and was left mesmerized by the several acts: One involving a mirror between each other, another involving a couple of bananas, and so on and so forth, but the girl couldn't really process what was fully going on, she was that overjoyed. And of course, once Luan had some free time and Maggie had a chance to see her, the peppy girl immediately took it.

"I saw your act and I thought it was cool and everything," Maggie told Luan, leaning to the left and right in rhytim. "I would like to know if there was a way I could learn about it? It looks fun!"

"Oh, it is fun, I assure you!" Luan answered, giving the girl a smile and a thumbs up. "Well, I don't know if they're accepting submissions now, but there's a clown school in Royal Woods that teaches the tricks and stuff me and my mom just did! If you want, I can give you some information about it-"

"Please do!" Maggie chirped, jumping up and down. "I wanna go there!"

So the younger Luan wrote down the information and handed it to Maggie, who eagerly took it and read it as Luan was approached by her boss. She and the boss spoke for a moment, and promptly walked away, but not before waving goodbye to Maggie, who waved back.

"Hey, thanks for the info!" Maggie exclaimed in joy. "See you at clown school!"

"You got it!" Luan chirped. "See you over there too!"

And so, the duo bid farewell...

 _Back at the present..._

"Huh, I think mom did say something about you attending a clown school before," Haiku scratched her chin in wonder. "She did say you weren't able to last in there long, though."

"Yeah, no matter how hard I tried, nobody seemed to get my sense of humor," Maggie somberly answered, looking at the ground. "Some said it was too dark, some said it was too intense. It didn't matter, what mattered was that nobody got it, and the clown school was kinda biased with that: If the general audience couldn't understand your humor, you weren't going to go far as a comedian. So they kicked me out."

"Oh, sister, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, at least there was somebody who did get my sense of humor."

"Who?"

"...Luan..."

 _Clown School Flashback..._

Maggie, now a teenager and looking a bit like an emo, packed her stuff after being told she was basically out of the clown school. Just as she eyed one of the things she was supposed to pack, however, she was caught off-guard when somebody shouted:

"Hey!"

The downed girl immediately turned around and saw none other than Luan running up to her.

"Remember me? I was the one who gave you the info of this school, Luan," the comedian remarked, earning a silent nod from Maggie. "I saw how the everybody else didn't laugh at your jokes and how you were expelled from the school. I wanted to try and meet you for the last time before you left."

Maggie looked at the ground. "I'm flattered, but-"

"Oh come on, don't let the fact that those downers didn't get your jokes, just like how I didn't let them stop me from laughing at them," Luan replied, surprising Maggie. "They weren't even bad or anything, they just catered to one very specific crowd, that's it."

"So you were the only one who laughed in the room?" Maggie remarked, gaining a smile. "I was wondering who was the one laughing. I didn't think you'd find my jokes funny."

"Well, I'm not called the class clown for nothing," Luan boasted with a giggle. "And unlike in most schools, that's not a bad thing! It just means that I can see the humor in anything, if it has humor. And you certainly did! You were just catering to people who like dark humor."

Then she whispered to Maggie's ear. "If I can tell you a little secret, that's my favorite kind of humor."

Maggie did the "my lips are sealed" gesture in return.

"You know, I was actually hoping we could become closer friends later on this school year," Luan remarked, her smile slowly turning into a frown as she finished. "But now that you're leaving, I can't help but feel saddened. I wish I had something to remember you."

Maggie soon got an idea and reached for her backpack, "Well, I don't want to leave the only person to ever like my jokes in the downer. So, here's a gift for you, to cheer you up."

And so she took out a familiar little hand puppet.

It was Colonel Crackers.

"I hope you'll take good care of him," Maggie told the comedian. "I was going to use him as a companion during my comedy career, but seeing as that's basically going nowhere, I might as well give it to somebody who has promise, right?"

"I'll make sure your legacy isn't forgotten anytime soon, don't worry," Luan confidently stated as she grabbed the terrifying puppet. "How about we walk together down the hallway?"

Maggie frowned, but made sure her smile didn't falter. "Y-You don't have to-"

Luan chirped, "Doesn't mean I don't want to."

Cheering up once more, Maggie just nodded, and so the two girls walked all the way to the exit, together.

 _Back in the present..._

"Wow, so Luan was the person you hung out with when I started hanging out with Lucy?" Haiku repeated, earning a nod from her older sister. "That explains where you went all the time, and why you always broke out laughing in your room!"

"Yeah, I had to keep up face, so I needed to hold my laughter until I came back home," Maggie brushed her forehead. "Curse my bad sense of humor."

"I think your sense of humor is fine," Haiku blurted. "You just so happen to like puns most people would groan at."

Maggie chuckled. "And funnily enough, most people do groan whenever she utters a pun."

Haiku smiled. "I bet you could make them funny."

The emo threw a look of complete shock at her younger sister. "Are you bluffing? Even if I did have an idea of how humor works, I really doubt I'd be able to make most of Luan's material funny."

"No problem, I just give Giggles a call, and she can teach you a thing or two," Haiku put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "She's a decent comedian, and has much more variety than her friend. At least, that's what she told me."

"And do you believe her?" Maggie raised an eyebrow.

"Well, from what I saw, she's not spitting out puns every second in an effort to be funny-"

"She's automatically a much better comedian in my book."

Haiku couldn't help but giggle for a moment, before hugging her older sister. "So, are you and Luan still friends?"

"Yeah, she can grind my gears at times, but I just can't hate her. At least, not openly and without a reason," Maggie sighed and looked at the ground. "Besides, it's not like I have any other friends. So if I'm not friends with her, then I'm friends with... Nobody..."

Haiku raised an eyebrow in worry. "What about the emos that went to your birthday party?"

"Mom just invited a bunch of random emos in hopes that I would get friends," the emo girl looked away. "Besides, even if I did make friends with some of them, the person I cared about the most was away during the celebration."

"Who was that important person?"

"You."

Upon hearing that, Haiku frowned and hugged her sister more tightly as she said:

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to your party."

Maggie, however, just brushed her sister's hair and said, with a reassuring tone:

"Don't worry about it."


	5. Cake Forgiveness

At Maggie and Haiku's house, the latter entered the house while the former was sitting on the couch, reading some sort of book. The young poet tried to sneak her way upstairs and into her room without being spotted, but the instant she took a step, Maggie closed her book, revealing it was about how to sense when someone was trying to sneak past you."

"Helen, I know you're there."

Haiku stopped right on her tracks.

The emo did the "Come here" gesture to her sister, who looked at the ground as she obliged.

"Look, I understand that you may need some time to yourself, but if you need to go so far as to try to sneak past me, then something big has to be up with it," Maggie stated, putting her book down before brushing Haiku's hair and asking, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure I should tell you," Haiku rubbed the back of her head. "You see, I was asked by someone you don't really like-"

Maggie narrowed her eyes and hissed, "Lucy Loud!"

"See?! I didn't even finish my sentence, and you already knew who I was talking about!" Haiku threw her hands up in the air. "Anyway, she asked me to come to her house to discuss some "poetic business", as she called it, and I was worried you weren't going to allow me to go see her."

"Well, sorry to say this, but that's pretty much an accurate guess," Maggie hissed. "Do you really think I would allow you to come to that house alone, with that stereotypical goth? Specially after what she did to you?!"

Haiku groaned. "Maggie, we've been through this before: My transition into becoming a goth was something I did on my own."

"But _she_ kickstarted it!" the emo folded her arms and looked away. " _She_ showed you the world of poetry! _She_ helped you get used to the dark stuff! _She_ turned you into another one of those goth stereotype that I hate so much!"

"I'm not asking you to come so you can interact with Lucy!" Haiku snapped, catching her sister's attention. "I'm asking you to come so you can keep Lincoln at bay!"

Maggie calmed and scratched her chin. "The boy with the white hair?"

"Yeah, him!" Haiku paced back and forth. "I want to try and help Lucy with a poem she's been working, but nine times out of ten, Lucy goes to ask for Lincoln's help, either right away or moments after I give her poetry advice! If I make her think that her brother's too busy with something else, she'll actually hear me out for once!"

"And what makes you think I want to or am abe to hang out that little boyfriend of hers for longer than a couple seconds?" the emo raised an eyebrow. "That guy made my birthday a lot harder to enjoy, and even after Luan did her phantomime thing, I still felt very bitter about the whole thing."

Haiku frowned and smiled. "Aw, come on, what could he have done that-"

"He destroyed my cake!" Maggie complained. "And if mom taught me something I'll value to the end of my days, is that cake murderers are the worst kind of people!"

"That's not exactly what I said, but sure, that works too!" Maggie and Haiku's mother shouted from upstairs.

"Listen, It's not going to be for long, I'll just discuss some stuff with Lucy, and you'll keep Lincoln occupied!" "Trust me, he's a pretty cool guy!"

Maggie lowered her eyelids. "Helen, you know I'm not into Ace Savvy."

"Okay, so he may not seem as cool as I make him sound like, but he's still a pretty nice guy!" Haiku clasped her hands. "And besides, I'm sure that if you ask him to apologize for the cake, he'll try to make it up to you."

The emo narrowed her eyes, but one little puppy dog look from her sister later, she sighed, "I guess it's worth a shot."

And so, Haiku jumped up and down for a moment before dragging her older sister to the infamous Loud house, then barge in to Lucy's bedroom. For some reason, though, Lynn wasn't there.

"Hi, Haiku, I was waiting for you," Lucy said in her deadpan tone, before noticing Maggie. "What's your sister doing here?"

"I'm here to keep your boyfriend or whatever he is occupied while you and Haiku deal with your poems," the emo bitterly answered.

This prompted Lucy to explain, "Lincoln's my brother-"

"You're dating your brother?!" Maggie exclaimed with a hint of disgust in her tone. "I told you this Lucy was hiding something sinister under her sleeves! Nothing that brings zebras to mind can be good!"

"Excuse my sister, she's a bit paranoid," Haiku replied, shooting a quick disapproving glare at Maggie.

"Nah, it's okay, I have a very similar sister back home," Lucy replied, waving her hand. "Granted, her paranoia is more focused on some sort of softball gods, but it's the same principle."

"If you need me, I'll be with Lucy's brother," Maggie stated, before turning to Haiku and whispering. "And seriously, the instant she starts acting weird, don't hesitate to call me."

Maggie stomped her way out of the room, and onto Lincoln's room, startling him in the process.

"Calm down, kid, I'm not here to hurt you or anything," Maggie stated as she walked to and sat next to the boy. "I'm just here to keep you busy while my sister helps your sister with her poetry."

"But, why?" Lincoln asked in confusion.

"Apparently, my sister's jealous of how frequently Lucy goes to you for poetic aid, and being a poet herself, she wants to try and help her too," Maggie shook her head. "The only way she could think about how to get Lucy to come to her for advice for once, was for me to keep you here, and make sure you weren't available.

Suddenly, the emo realized something. "And that's not to say that you helping your sister is bad or anything, it's just that Haiku wanted to be the one Lucy depended on for once."

Lincoln looked at the ground. "I guess that's fair."

And so, the boy got up, and the pair started to wait for Haiku and Lucy to finish. So they waited...

And waited...

And waited...

"You know, I always envy cartoon characters during times that have a lot of waiting in them," the emo sighed. "At least _they_ get some sort of time skip to not deal with all the waiting. Meanwhile, _we_ have to feel every single excruciating second!"

"Yeah, cartoons make everything look so easy nowadays..." Lincoln remarked, before asking, "So, how have you been since the birthday party?"

"I took up cooking lessons," Maggie casually revealed, rolling her eyes. "Mostly because I wanted to try and make a cake myself, mostly so that when my next birthday arrived, I could make a cake that could be ruined, while the one mom paid for was saved just in case something happened to it."

"Huh, that's pretty good to know," Lincoln twiddled his fingers. "You know, my sisters Lynn and Leni know how to cook too, have you seen them in your class?"

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "Is Leni a blonde with a blue shirt who's always talking to her boyfriend on the phone?"

Lincoln shook his head. "No, you're talking about Lori."

"Thank goodness then," Maggie sighed with a chuckle. "'Cause she's at the very bottom of the class. If she was the one you spoke about, I'd feel so sorry for you."

"That, I can believe," Lincoln laughed. "I'm not sure if you'll believe me, but Leni and Lynn are the only ones of my sisters that know how to cook: Luna tries to use the same tactics she uses while she plays the drums, with predictable results, and Luan bakes pies so often that might as well be the only thing she knows how to cook."

"Haha, I bet Luan doesn't even eat her pies most of the time," Maggie scoffed. "She probably just has them in check just in case she needs to pie someone in the face."

"You got it!" Lincoln replied. "Granted, I also know how to cook a couple things: Eggs, bacon, sandwiches, just very basic stuff like that."

"Really? It's good to know you got those skills," Maggie sighed. "They'll come in handy one day, I promise."

Silence filled the rooms soon afterwards, which was only broken when Lincoln spoke:

"I'm sorry about what happened to your cake. I didn't mean to destroy it so carelessly."

"Nah, it's okay, cuz today I was preparing a cake myself," Maggie replied. "If you'd like, once Haiku's done with Lucy, you could come with us so I can share a piece of it with you."

"Really?! Even after all I did?!" Lincoln chirped up, getting even happier when Maggie nodded. "Thank you so much! I'm going to need to bring some plates so I can save some pieces for my sisters, if-"

"Stop right there," Maggie put her hand over the boy's mouth. "I'm asking _you_ and you _alone_ to come eat the cake with us, none of your sisters are invited, our house can't survive nearly a dozen of you coming over. Besides, unless your sisters like Vanilla-Strawberry mixed cake, I don't think they would like it that much."

Lincoln shook his head. And so, sharing one last smile, the duo left the room and reunited with Haiku, who was just coming out of Lucy's bedroom.

"Geez, Lucy still has a lot of things to learn," the girl said, before noticing the duo. "Oh hey, you two managed to work out your issues?"

"Sort of, yeah," Maggie nodded. "But there's also another reason why he's coming with me. Or more accurately, he's coming with us."

Haiku raised an eyebrow, but quickly decided to shrug it off and return home. Once there, Lincoln, Maggie, and Haiku all sat at the table, with Maggie's cake sitting in the middle: It was a two platform cake, the first platform being vanilla flavoured, while the second was strawberry flavoured, and it had a bit of whipped cream at the edges and at the very top.

"Wow, you made this cake, Maggie?!" Lincoln asked just as Maggie and Haiku's mother arrived.

"Well, yeah," the emo blushed and shrugged. "It took me a long while, but I like to think it was worth it."

"Aw, you brought a new friend home!" Maggie's mother chirped, seemingly not realizing who this "friend" actually was. "I'm so happy you're starting to become more sociable, Maggie-"

"Don't get the wrong idea, mom," the emo rolled her eyes. "I just brought him over so he could help us gulp down all this cake I made."

"And I still have to say, the fact you made a cake both this big and this delicious is impressive!" Lincoln exclaimed. "You're an amazing cook, Maggie!"

"Thanks, but the best compliment you can give me right now is helping us get all of this cake eaten before 9 pm!" Maggie stated before taking out a flag. "On your marks... ready... set...go!"

And so, the trio started to eat the cake immediately, while the mother watched nearby, feeling satisfied at what she was looking at.


	6. Backup Company

It was a normal day at the city of Royal Woods, and the Gothic sisters, Maggie and Haiku, were talking in the latter's bedroom while the former brushed her hair.

"You sure you want me to deal with Lucy's jock of a sister?" Maggie asked in the middle of the brushing. "I've heard horror stories of both her questionable hygiene and her brutal attitude. Mostly the questionable hygiene, though."

"I want to see if she's the reason for why Lucy's so downbeat all the time," Haiku answered. "If she has something to do with that, then I might be able to fix the situation, bring a smile to Lucy's face, and help her get out of that Gothic phase,"

Suddenly, Haiku grew angrier as she finished, "So that you'll finally stop pestering me about how Lucy's a bad influence on me, and I can finally take a breather from all the goth-emo confusion nonsense!"

Haiku calmed down afterwards, and apologized once she saw Maggie flinch in the mirror. "Sorry, I... couldn't keep my anger to myself in that time."

"Suppressed anger, huh?" Maggie sighed and continued the brushing. "Aim it at yourself and keep it up for the rest of your life, and you'll most likely get an idea on how I feel in general. Anyway, you want me to come with you, just in case the jock tries to interfere?"

The young poet sighed and looked away. "I know you don't like Lucy that much, in fact, you probably don't like most of the Louds-"

"Actually, I don't care about most of them," Maggie clarified. "Luan, Lucy, and Luna are the only ones I don't like, I'm neutral with everybody else, including Lincoln."

"Okay, Lucy and Luan, I get why you wouldn't like them, but why do you dislike Luna?" Haiku scratched her chin as she tried to remember what the rocker looked like. "She's the one who plays music at the park every Wednesday, right? She's awesome!"

"I'm a fan of emotional hardcore music, and she prefers rock music," Maggie shook her head. "By musical standards, we're fated to be enemies. Granted, I do think her music's good, but still, she doesn't seem to specialize in the sort of music I like, so yeah, fated enemies."

Haiku rolled her eyes. "Alright then, whatever you say, just please promise me that if you're coming, that you'll behave yourself."

"I'm coming whether you like it or not, Helen," Maggie bluntly stated. "And alright, I'll try to make sure nothing bad happens."

The poet took a sigh of relief and smiled, prompting her older sister to return the smile as she continued the brushing. At least until Haiku asked:

"So, how long are you going to brush my hair? I could swear you've brushed it like 25 times already."

"And I'm only halfway through," Maggie stated. "I was once pestered by one of the Louds that the best way to keep the hair in a "perfectly fashionable" sense was to brush it fifty times, and she promised me that she would leave me alone if I tried it."

Haiku raised an eyebrow. "Did you try brushing your hair first?"

Maggie smirked and ruffled the poet's hair. "I did, but I figured yours would be much prettier."

"Hey, watch it!" Helen giggled as she flailed her arms up and down. "You're messing it up!"

"Oh no, I totally didn't mean to do that!" the emo replied in a melodramatic tone. "Now I have to do it all over again!"

Haiku leaned back and exclaimed, in an equally melodramatic tone, "Oh the horror!"

The sisters shared smiles, and promptly laughed out loud.

 _Sometime later, at the Loud house..._

After finally surviving the fifty brushes of hair, Haiku and Maggie found themselves outside the Loud house's main entrance, where Haiku was about to touch the doorbell, before Maggie stopped her. The emo went in front of her sister, crouched down with her, and then touched the doorbell, only for a mechanical arm to burst from the wall, and throw a pie at air, right where the sisters would otherwise be.

"I had a feeling Luan had messed with the doorbell," Maggie said as she stood up. "Knocking the door is much safer."

Haiku promptly knocked the door three times, and Maggie prepared her traditional greeting: Flipping the bird at whoever answered the door. She did hide the bird when she saw Lincoln answer, though.

"Oh, hi Haiku, hi Maggie," the boy calmly greeted. "What brings you here?"

"I came here to discuss some things with Lucy, try to get closer and all that jazz," Haiku hastily explained before pointing at her sister. "Maggie came along so she could interact with Lynn, and hopefully keep her occupied while Lucy and I use our poetic minds to create something neat."

"Hey, Lincoln," Maggie crouched down and flipped the bird at Lincoln. "When you get the chance, give this to Luan, alright?"

"Uh, sure?" the boy rubbed his arm. "But I honestly don't think she'll get the message coming from me."

Maggie brushed the boy's hair. "Then just tell her that I sent it. That should clear up any confusion. Anyway, is your jock sister here?"

"I brought Maggie along to try keep her busy while I talked with Lucy," Haiku hastily explained.

"She's in the backyard." Lincoln casually answered.

The sisters nodded, then exchanged a pair of looks before Haiku went upstairs, while Maggie went to the backyard... where she spotted a small figure, arms folded and sporting a serious look as the wind blew in her direction.

"Greetings, Haiku." the figure greeted, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not Haiku, I'm her sister, Maggie," the emo deadpanly corrected as she walked towards the jock. "I was sent here to deal with you, while she deals with Lucy."

"Ha! So she was so scared of me that she decided to send somebody else to deal with me?" Lynn scoffed. "Listen up, send your sister this message: I won't let Lucy become friends with a weakling! If she wants me to accept her and Lucy's friendship, then she'll have to show her strength to me!"

Upon hearing the mockery the jock threw at her sister's direction, and without hesitation, Maggie swayed her hair and cracked her knuckles. "I have a better idea: How about I make it clear to you that I won't let you mess with my sister's relationships the only way people like you can understand?"

Lynn smirked and put her hands on her hips, "Fair enough, but don't come crying to me when I beat you senseless!"

Maggie simply chuckled before gesturing Lynn to run after her, with the jock charging towards the emo, who subtly smiled moments before she was attacked...


	7. The End

**Yup, the title of the chapter isn't lying, I've ran out of ideas for this AU, and I'm ending it right now, instead of beating a dead horse. I will say it now, though, if you want to write a story in this AU, be my guest, but I won't be writing for it anymore.**

 **However! I did promise a Maggie VS Lynn fight, and you'll get it! In two versions, even!**

 **So, let's head on with the grand finale.**

* * *

 _Anime fight..._

A large clash happened at the backyard, with Maggie and Lynn being sent flying from said clash off to the extreme ends of the location. Maggie crashed on the wall, while Lynn went through the fence, before leaping back into the fray and towards Maggie.

However, the emo jumped out of the wall, and Lynn crashed in the same spot mere moments before Maggie grabbed her ponytail and swung her straight into the tree. However, Lynn quickly recomposed herself and landed on the tree's trunk before jumping back towards Maggie, who could barely register what happened before the athlete kicked her in the face.

However, the emo quickly retaliated by grabbing the jock's ponytail and then swinging her back and forth down the ground before Lynn managed to kick her during the swing, making Maggie release her soon afterwards.

Without hesitation, Lynn took off her hair tie and let her hair flow free as she boasted, "What are you going to do now that there's no ponytail for you to grab? Are you gonna take this seriously already?!"

Maggie smirked. "Don't tempt me!"

Just as they got ready to clash again, however, they heard someone shout:

"Lynn?!"

"Maggie?!"

The duo stopped and turned around to see Lucy and Haiku standing by the door, looking really displeased with the situation. The pair exchanged looks, then threw worried looks at their sisters and sheepishly smiled:

"Um, we can explain."

 _"Normal" fight..._

Maggie and Lynn had sat down on the ground, with Maggie talking about something to Lynn, who had obviously fallen asleep by then. It wasn't long before Maggie noticed, and she cracked her knuckles, making up the joke so she could hear her boring dialogue some more. Eventually, Lynn snapped, and before they knew it, the pair engaged in a big pile of violence, at least until they Heard someone shout:

"What are you doing?!"

The pair stopped fighting, and turned around to see a displeased Lucy and Haiku standing nearby.

Maggie and Lynn pointed at each other and exclaimed, "She started it!"


End file.
